Saturday, February 5, 2011

Pallets, Doves, and Babies...

What do these three things have in common? Well let me tell you.

Rewind to the month of November 2010, I've been married all of 3 months and almost completely convinced that I must be pregnant. Reason #1 for my paranoia: Zach heard God tell him I was pregnant with dreams and visions. Reason #2: I had been nauseous and extremely tired (among other things) all week. Reason #3: A complete stranger felt the need to approach Zach and ask if he could pray for him and while praying asked Zach "Do you have a wife? Is she pregnant?". Talk about freaky! I of course took a pregnancy test and it was negative as my monthly friend confirmed but little uncanny things kept bringing up the subject all the way into December. Zach's step-dad after praying one day was struck with the idea that I might be pregnant, so much so that he even talked to Zach's mom about it. A 6 year old little girl came up to me saying "your husband said you're pregnant" when he had really said I was beautiful, what is up with that?? Random family members of Zach's that were in town for the holidays that I hadn't even met yet were coming up to him saying "So you're gonna be a father huh?". Where was all this coming from I had to know and after talking with God for a bit I came to the conclusion that I must be spiritually pregnant.

In my last blog I promised to share the story of how we transitioned from Desert to Wilderness which came about oddly enough through pallets, doves, and babies. I know its sounds funny but it is true. You see, Zach and I were driving to his mom's house late one night during Christmas break. Some things were going on and we found ourselves conflicting with one another. The car ride was by no means a pleasant one and the enemy was attacking my mind and thoughts like crazy. My emotions were all over the place and I didn't know what to think, feel, or believe. God finally told me as we were on a dark country road that the pain I was feeling was labor and that I was giving birth to what He had placed inside me. As soon as I understood the significance and the importance of walking through this labor and conflict I determined my mind and heart not to believe the lies but to push through the pain. Not even a split second after I had determined myself we ran over a wooden pallet that was right in the middle of the road. We had a choice of either the ditch or pallet so over it we went. We kept waiting for the tires to go flat and once we felt we were in the clear I told Zach about what God had told me and how I thought it might be significant that as soon as I had set my mind and spirit "BAM" we hit something. As crazy as it might seem a split second after I told him of this spiritual ride we were apparetnly on we hit a dove. Coincidence??? I think not!!

I may not have the full picture yet, I know God is still working, but this is what I understand about what happened so far. God placed a seed inside of me therefore I was spiritually pregnant. In order to give birth to something you must go through a labor process hence my conflict with Zach. God symbolically showed us that we had an obstacle or in our case a conflict and pallet that we must go through and that we would not be harmed but would give birth to something through it. So what does the dove mean? Well let me start off by saying first of all doves do not usually fly at night and 2nd they don't fly alone. It might interest you as well to know that according to Leviticus 12:8 doves were sacrificed as a burnt offering for the cleansing after child birth. So the dove tells me that we did indeed birth something although I'm still trying to figure out just what exactly. All I know is we found ourselves in a new season after that and God can use anything even pallets, doves, and babies.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I Like The Wilderness

Life is a journey, I know that sounds cliche, but it is so true and lately I have been caught up in its many twists and unexpected turns. God has been teaching Zach and me so much and over Christmas break we started transitioning into a new season of our lives. The first 4 months of our marriage were spent in something I like to call a spiritual desert. Here we were in Miami where we didn't know a single soul, neither one of us had a job, and God seemingly stopped giving us any sense of direction. Of course Zach ended up getting his part time job and our family members helped support us a lot but it was so hard trying to not only understand but accept the fact that as a new RN there were no jobs for me. I felt so lost because nothing had gone according to my plan. I was supposed to land some amazing job at a hospital and start earning more than enough money to support us while doing what my heart so deeply desires.

The answer to all my pleas to God were simply "Seek Me, seek My heart, I desire to be known by you." Needless to say I followed His instruction, what else is a girl to do?? As I started seeking Him more and the closer I got to His heart the more I just became broken before Him. Even the slightest mention of a lost soul, a hurting heart, or a broken spirit would send me into tears. To feel God's yearning for His children to be made whole is something so overpowering words cannot even begin to describe it. I'm still not quite sure what He is trying to develop within me or the purpose for whatever it is but I do know that my sensitivity to His spirit played a major role in our transition from desert to now wilderness. I will have to share the story of how this transition came about another time but for now I just want to give an update on what season we are in now.

When we came back to Miami after new years, gearing up for a new semester, we knew that we were done with Zach's job but needed God to direct us somewhere else before we would be able to leave it. We knew God was up to something and felt the anticipation of it. I was guided to apply at chick-fil-a and was called for an interview. 20 mins into the interview I was offered a job and told by my boss that he felt it was a "God thing" and that God has a purose for me there. I have been working for 3 weeks now, Zach was able to quit his job, we found a church, a small group, and an amazing freshly married couple like ourselves as friends. Like I said life is a journey and God has me on this crazy ride that doesn't make sense but I take comfort in knowing that it is all for His glory and for our good because we love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) We still have no idea where we are or what we are doing here in this wilderness, we dont' even know where God is taking us next but I do know that compared to the desert, I like the wilderness.