Two Years Is Much Too Long!!!

I CANNOT believe it has been almost two whole years since I have written!!! So much has happened I don't even know where to start to catch you up. I guess I left off talking about transitioning seasons and I am yet again in the midst of figuring out this chapter I have found myself in. To get you up to speed, I worked for  Chick-fil-a for the past two years. To be honest I never thought I would have worked there as long I did but it was such a growing experience. I became a Team Leader there which is basically an Assistant Manager in October of 2011 and boy was I in for a challenge. I am not much of a confrontational person and sometimes I have a hard time making sure my voice is heard but by the end of August 2012 (which is when I quit working) I had grown so much and I can say my voice is much stronger mostly due to one of my Managers who I am so thankful for. My job was such a huge blessing but the true treasure was and is Victor and Zuny, the owners and my prior boss. They helped Zach and me provide for our little family in a time that we needed it the most. January 2012 brought some of the happiest news Zach and I have ever received. We were PREGNANT!! We received so much spiritual, emotional, and financial support from Victor and Zuny they have officially become like family in our book. I guess in hind sight it makes complete sense why God placed me there. He knew what laid ahead and knew that we would need people in our lives that would truly be His hands and feet.

OK, so that covers my journey at Chick-fil-a, in a nut shell anyway. Lets move on to seriously one of the most amazing and exciting experiences I have ever had, being pregnant with and giving birth to our precious daughter Evanna Rose Oliva. As far as the pregnancy went I don't think it could have gone any smoother. I worked all the way up until 4 weeks before having her, partly because I wanted to and partly because I had to. Zach and I were both working at CFA just to make ends meet and we were really trusting God that He would do something to provide us once we had her. Three weeks before I gave birth Zach started his job at Expeditors which is a logistics company handling imports and exports. It just so happens that he makes enough there that I can stay at home with Evanna, which is what God knows I prayed so fervently for. We had a home birth with our wonderful Midwife which I will have to devote a whole post towards so you can get the whole story but for now just know that it was one of the most beautiful things I have lived through.

So here we are, its the beginning of 2013 and I am embarking on this new adventure of being a stay at home mom. There are so many joys and so many challenges I can't help but want to share as well as document what we find around each corner and I promise I will be more diligent in posting because two years is much too long!!!

Perspective



There is so much going on in the world today that we are completely unaware of. So much is hidden from us here in America. All of this is going on right under our noses, in our very own backyards and what are we doing about it? Nothing. We grow up hearing in church how important it is to live according to the Bible and lead lives of purity and told that it is all for our own good but never truly understand why. Without an understanding of why, how can we as Christians resist the culture of humanism in which we live. Humanism has created a generation of self-centered, lazy, and uneducated Americans who live only for their present pleasure and convenience thinking that it is their right to be happy no matter the cost. Well the cost is high. We have a hand in this slavery, we feed it thinking all along that its not really that bad to watch certain movies or shows or listen to music that is all about sex. We are feeding this sex industry and the lust of men and all the while calling it good fun. Human Trafficking is a business and cannot survive if there is no demand but we seem to insist that it is our right to feed this demand for our own "innocent" pleasure. There is a purpose to living a life of purity and that purpose is to live in the freedom of Christ and put a stop to the spiritual and physical bondage that the opposite most inevitably brings. Hopefully this puts things in perspective and helps shed light on just how important your decisions are and the consequences that come as a result. Will you fight with me to end slavery and choose to lead lives full of freedom and light that don't bow to humanism, the great lie of our age? 

Pallets, Doves, and Babies...

What do these three things have in common? Well let me tell you.

Rewind to the month of November 2010, I've been married all of 3 months and almost completely convinced that I must be pregnant. Reason #1 for my paranoia: Zach heard God tell him I was pregnant with dreams and visions. Reason #2: I had been nauseous and extremely tired (among other things) all week. Reason #3: A complete stranger felt the need to approach Zach and ask if he could pray for him and while praying asked Zach "Do you have a wife? Is she pregnant?". Talk about freaky! I of course took a pregnancy test and it was negative as my monthly friend confirmed but little uncanny things kept bringing up the subject all the way into December. Zach's step-dad after praying one day was struck with the idea that I might be pregnant, so much so that he even talked to Zach's mom about it. A 6 year old little girl came up to me saying "your husband said you're pregnant" when he had really said I was beautiful, what is up with that?? Random family members of Zach's that were in town for the holidays that I hadn't even met yet were coming up to him saying "So you're gonna be a father huh?". Where was all this coming from I had to know and after talking with God for a bit I came to the conclusion that I must be spiritually pregnant.

In my last blog I promised to share the story of how we transitioned from Desert to Wilderness which came about oddly enough through pallets, doves, and babies. I know its sounds funny but it is true. You see, Zach and I were driving to his mom's house late one night during Christmas break. Some things were going on and we found ourselves conflicting with one another. The car ride was by no means a pleasant one and the enemy was attacking my mind and thoughts like crazy. My emotions were all over the place and I didn't know what to think, feel, or believe. God finally told me as we were on a dark country road that the pain I was feeling was labor and that I was giving birth to what He had placed inside me. As soon as I understood the significance and the importance of walking through this labor and conflict I determined my mind and heart not to believe the lies but to push through the pain. Not even a split second after I had determined myself we ran over a wooden pallet that was right in the middle of the road. We had a choice of either the ditch or pallet so over it we went. We kept waiting for the tires to go flat and once we felt we were in the clear I told Zach about what God had told me and how I thought it might be significant that as soon as I had set my mind and spirit "BAM" we hit something. As crazy as it might seem a split second after I told him of this spiritual ride we were apparetnly on we hit a dove. Coincidence??? I think not!!

I may not have the full picture yet, I know God is still working, but this is what I understand about what happened so far. God placed a seed inside of me therefore I was spiritually pregnant. In order to give birth to something you must go through a labor process hence my conflict with Zach. God symbolically showed us that we had an obstacle or in our case a conflict and pallet that we must go through and that we would not be harmed but would give birth to something through it. So what does the dove mean? Well let me start off by saying first of all doves do not usually fly at night and 2nd they don't fly alone. It might interest you as well to know that according to Leviticus 12:8 doves were sacrificed as a burnt offering for the cleansing after child birth. So the dove tells me that we did indeed birth something although I'm still trying to figure out just what exactly. All I know is we found ourselves in a new season after that and God can use anything even pallets, doves, and babies.

I Like The Wilderness

Life is a journey, I know that sounds cliche, but it is so true and lately I have been caught up in its many twists and unexpected turns. God has been teaching Zach and me so much and over Christmas break we started transitioning into a new season of our lives. The first 4 months of our marriage were spent in something I like to call a spiritual desert. Here we were in Miami where we didn't know a single soul, neither one of us had a job, and God seemingly stopped giving us any sense of direction. Of course Zach ended up getting his part time job and our family members helped support us a lot but it was so hard trying to not only understand but accept the fact that as a new RN there were no jobs for me. I felt so lost because nothing had gone according to my plan. I was supposed to land some amazing job at a hospital and start earning more than enough money to support us while doing what my heart so deeply desires.

The answer to all my pleas to God were simply "Seek Me, seek My heart, I desire to be known by you." Needless to say I followed His instruction, what else is a girl to do?? As I started seeking Him more and the closer I got to His heart the more I just became broken before Him. Even the slightest mention of a lost soul, a hurting heart, or a broken spirit would send me into tears. To feel God's yearning for His children to be made whole is something so overpowering words cannot even begin to describe it. I'm still not quite sure what He is trying to develop within me or the purpose for whatever it is but I do know that my sensitivity to His spirit played a major role in our transition from desert to now wilderness. I will have to share the story of how this transition came about another time but for now I just want to give an update on what season we are in now.

When we came back to Miami after new years, gearing up for a new semester, we knew that we were done with Zach's job but needed God to direct us somewhere else before we would be able to leave it. We knew God was up to something and felt the anticipation of it. I was guided to apply at chick-fil-a and was called for an interview. 20 mins into the interview I was offered a job and told by my boss that he felt it was a "God thing" and that God has a purose for me there. I have been working for 3 weeks now, Zach was able to quit his job, we found a church, a small group, and an amazing freshly married couple like ourselves as friends. Like I said life is a journey and God has me on this crazy ride that doesn't make sense but I take comfort in knowing that it is all for His glory and for our good because we love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) We still have no idea where we are or what we are doing here in this wilderness, we dont' even know where God is taking us next but I do know that compared to the desert, I like the wilderness.

The Lesson of the Dragonfly

God speaks in many different ways, sometimes He just whispers something to your soul, other times He may give you a dream. One of my favorite ways He speaks to me is through nature. He tends to either give me profound analogies or sometimes He just leads me to research the meaning or symbolism of things. Zach and I spent part of our honey-moon in Tennessee where we went swimming at a little "beach".

 

This is the view from where we sat

As we were swimming  in the water I apparently made a friend. This blue dragonfly landed on my shoulder and continued to just sit there for about 5 mins. He/she never introduced themself so I don't know by what name to call my little friend but he seemed to enjoy my company. He flew about landing on my hand or shoulder for the next 10 mins. The experience was so uncanny I couldn't help but think it had to mean something so I decided to look up the symbolic meaning of dragonflies and this is what I found.

• Maturity and a Depth of character
  The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.
  
  The traditional association of Dragonflies with water also gives rise to this meaning to this amazing insect. The Dragonfly’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life.

• Power and Poise
  The dragonfly’s agile flight and its ability to move in all six directions exude a sense of power and poise - something that comes only with age and maturity.
  The dragonfly can move at an amazing 45 miles an hour,  hover like a helicopter fly backwards like a hummingbird, fly straight up, down and on either side. What is mind blowing is the fact that it can do this while flapping its wings a mere 30 times a minute while mosquitoes and houseflies need to flap their wings 600 and 1000 times a minute respectively.
  
  The awe inspiring aspect is how the dragonfly accomplishes its objectives with utmost simplicity, effectiveness and well, if you look at proportions, with 20 times as much power in each of its wing strokes when compared to the other insects.  The best part is that the dragonfly does it with elegance and grace that can be compared to a veteran ballet dancer. If this is not a brazen, lazy, overkill in terms of display of raw power, what is?

• Defeat of Self Created Illusions
  The dragonfly exhibits iridescence both on its wings as well as on its body. Iridescence is the property of an object to show itself in different colors depending on the angle and polarization of light falling on it.
  
  This property is seen and believed as the end of one’s self created illusions and a clear vision into the realities of life. The magical property of iridescence is also associated with the discovery of one’s own abilities by unmasking the real self and removing the doubts one casts on his/her own sense of identity. This again indirectly means self discovery and removal of inhibitions.

• Focus on living ‘IN’ the moment
  The dragonfly normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a fraction of its life and usually not more than a few months. This adult dragonfly does it all in these few months and leaves nothing to be desired. This style of life symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living IN the moment and living life to the fullest. By living in the moment you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis.
  
  This ability lets you live your life without regrets like the great dragonfly.

• The opening of one’s eyes
  The eyes of the dragonfly are one of the most amazing and awe inspiring sights. Given almost 80% of the insect’s brain power is dedicated to its sight and the fact that it can see in all 360 degrees around it, it symbolizes the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self. It also in a manner of speaking symbolizes a man/woman’s rising from materialism to be able to see beyond the mundane into the vastness that is really our Universe, and our own minds

This explanation of what my experience meant hit home so unbelievably well. Here in Miami both Zach and I are gaining a clearer picture of where God is leading us. We are growing so much as God is defining our identity as one even more. In the Latino culture "living in the moment" is definitely a common characteristic which has been rubbing off on me the more I acclimate to my surroundings. God is preparing us for a life that does not waste time but is always looking clearly toward how each moment can truly be utilized for good. In the future I will be sharing more on the things that God has given us a passion and a heart for but for now I will leave you to contemplate the lesson of the dragonfly and how each of us are maturing and coming into a greater knowledge of not onlly who we are in Christ but who He is.

 Me before jumping into the water

Zach taking a little nap after driving through the mountains

A Tale of Two Tiny Dandelions

To some a Dandelion might represent something resembling a weed, a nuisance, or just something that needs to be gotten rid of. As a child, I enjoyed that magical feeling of blowing the little seed globe and watching all the delightful white fuzzies each float through the air on their own journey. Dandelions meant something of hope to me then, they meant making a wish and believing it would come true. 

As a result of my soul searching I have found a deeper and more personal meaning to the Dandelion. Lilias Trotter, a woman to whom I have looked for spiritual insight wrote "This dandelion has long ago surrendered its golden petals, and has reached its crowning stage of dying - the delicate seedglobe must break up now - it gives and gives till it has nothing left...There is no sense in wrenching: it stands ready, holding up its little life, not knowing when or where of how the wind that bloweth where it listeth may carry it away. It holds itself no longer for its own keeping, only as something to be given..." She was writing of herself and I have considered myself to be a Dandelion as well ever since I read and understood her meaning. As a christian I count it joy to give my life for the one who loved and surrendered His life first, to surrender my "golden petals" and hold my life up ready and willing for Him to send me where I can be fruitful even at the cost of death. 

I have found myself floating through the air after having my faithful Father breathe His breath of life over me and have landed as a married woman in Miami, Florida. Sometimes I'm not quite sure how I landed here, it seems just yesterday I was waiting in my own little meadow dreaming of promises yet to come and now here I am. I thought dying and being willing to be sent was the hard part but I have found that being fruitful and something of worth is just as challenging. I am 23 years old, have been married for 2 months, and just moved to Miami right after Zach and I "tied the knot". This journey that God has sent us on, these two dandelions of His, has been difficult but I can't help but feel an overcoming peace in knowing that there is a purpose to us being here. Even if it is to be but a shining light of His love and freedom to those around us.

I have created this blog to tell of the great adventure God has set us on knowing that it is filled with a lot of love, laughter, and tears. I pray that those tears will inspire growth and add not only flavor but genuineness of heart to the Tales of Two Tiny Dandelions.